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Yo, shouldn't we be putting filters in these?
Filters? Where we at, the country club?
Ooh, why don't we give 'em out
with cigarette holders and fur coats like Cruella?
And Holly Golightly. She had a tiara.
Put filters in, you got to roll the cigarettes bigger to match.
Eats into our margins.
You talkin' 'bout chargin' a book of stamps per,
you got pretty good margins already.
- That's like nine bucks a smoke. - Oh, shit.
Looks like Watson is gettin' introduced to our good friends supply and demand.
Cheese it. Fuzz.
Would you clean a sink with a piece of raw meat?
No, you wouldn't, because of germs.
A filthy sponge is like a rectangle of smelly meat.
Studies show that bathroom sinks have more germs in it than a toilet.
- You gotta disinfect! - Disinfect.
You know what else has more germs than a toilet?
Your mouth.
And also ATM keypads and the bottom of ladies' handbags.
I read that.
You know, we learn something new every day here in prison.
All right. Listen up, ladies.
Now, if a customer's got regular stamps and forever stamps,
you always take the forever stamps.
You hold on to those, and when the post office jacks up the prices,
you've made money.
You mean you made money. You taking like 90%, ain't you?
Sendin' those stamps outside, your boys turn 'em into bank.
I'm the one assuming the risk.
Uh, what about my risk of sitting in seg till I start talkin' to my hand?
You want 0%, walk away.
This is about more than just a business, ladies.
This is about making something of yourselves.
You give those women something they want, they will respect you for it.
Yeah. I'm done.
That's very good. Give 'em to Taystee.
But they're mine.
We had this talk, Suzanne. Remember?
We each have skills.
Salesmanship, not one of yours.
Gotta make people feel more comfortable.
Yo, Vee, where we supposed to keep all of these?
'Cause a sister is not tryin' to go to SHU.
You got some kind of invisibility cloak or somethin'?
You could say that.
Am I asking too much here?
Am I putting something on you people that you physically can't do,
like dance the tango or something?
No. I'm asking for competence.
For starters, keeping the prisoners in prison.
Seems pretty simple to me.
Not having a fruitcake in khakis wander around in public,
five officers hustling her out,
putting her in a car like some kind of fucking clown show.
I'm talkin' to you, Bennett.
- You left me here alone. - That is false.
Yeah, I was here.
Yeah, you were patrolling a copy of Bassmaster Magazine.
I'm just saying, respectfully,
that maybe Valentine's wasn't the best day
to take a bunch of people to see your gig at a bar.
It's not like people haven't gotten out before.
Take her to Max, stick a few years on her sentence.
The woman's 100 years old. We're gonna give her more time?
Bell, I want you all over that inmate like a fly on shit.
You follow her. You find out how she's running.
How about we just ask her?
I already did.
She told me she took the trolley from 27th Street.
I will deal with this officially when we get the hole plugged up.
You want me 'round the clock babysittin' Phyllis Diller?
Let me know if that is a waste of your talents and education.
Second, shot quota.
We are gonna straighten things up around here.
I want each of you writing five shots a week minimum.
Keep these ladies on point.
- And for you, it's six. - That's not fair.
I asked you to toughen up your game. I don't see you gettin' there.
Gonna be such a bitch, Caputo. The paperwork alone.
Tell it to your mom. Maybe she'll write you a fuckin' note.
Get out.
Inmate. You're late for count.
- I got 45 seconds still. - Not enough time to get there.
What is this, The Minority Report?
Sorry. I'm gonna write you a shot.
What you... White Cindy ain't gonna make it, either.
I ain't looking at White Cindy.
This is some racism right here!
It's not. But it's about to be if you don't shut up.
What the hell that even mean?
Get down on the ground, inmate.
Fucking kidding me?
What'd I just say?
All right, let's move it, people.
And take your shoes off.
I don't even know why I even got to say it.
Oh! Excuse me. I'm gonna need you to throw out that soda.
I'm still drinking it.
You still drinkin' it?
That's what the terrorists say.
You a terrorist?
Throw it out!
Come on, people. Let's move it. Let's go. You, come on.
- Oh, yeah! - Watch it, lady.
Move out the way!
Airport emergency.
Got it!
Oh, yeah!
Ooh. Jackpot, baby. Ah. Mmm.
Oh, girl. I got, like, 11 of those.
That one's supposed to be waterproof.
Let me tell you, girl,
you get some crunk juice on that shit, not good.
Hmm.
Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
Looks like we got a problem here.
I'm clean.
Technically, yes.
But I can't let you on the plane with these guns.
Turn around.
I was surprised to get your note.
To be honest, Larry wasn't all that cooperative.
Well, Larry's in a weird place these days, which is mostly my fault.
But I can't get into that.
It's none of my business. I'm just glad they let me in.
Sometimes, inefficiency works for you.
Here's the thing.
My grandmother is very sick, and I'm supposed to get furlough,
but it doesn't seem to be happening.
I'm not sure where I come in.
Just one example of how the prison system isn't working.
Guard misconduct, overuse of solitary confinement.
People on the outside should know what it's like.
Piper, prison treats inmates unfairly.
If not getting a weekend off to visit the family is the worst thing...
I didn't even remotely say...
Inmates are starving. They're getting raped.
And it's not like no one's covering this. It's just that no one cares.
Listen, do I lie awake
fantasizing about personally taking down an institution that is
the single greatest stain on the American collective conscience
since slavery with the awesome power of my words?
Sure.
But in the daytime, I've accepted that's not gonna happen.
What I can do, maybe,
is find $2 million that's gone off the books here at Litchfield.
What do you want me to do?
If money's being appropriated, it has to be going somewhere.
I'm guessing that there's some kind of shell corporation it's being paid into.
There is something going on with the electrical grid.
Well, Figueroa's the official on the ground here,
which means that she's either being duped or she's in on the profits.
And I need to know who she's making contracts with for labor, supplies,
who she's writing checks to.
Okay, cool. I'll just look that up
in the handy inmate Internet they give us for when we get curious about stuff.
They appropriated $200,000 last year to renovate a gym that doesn't exist.
Look, I would love to help you. I really would.
But short of breaking into Fig's office and going through her files,
I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do.
I have been thrown in SHU twice already,
and I love my grandmother, and she could die.
I'm not gonna fuck things up for myself by playing high-stakes Harriet the Spy.
Okay. Let me know if you change your mind.
I'm sorry about your grandmother.
You sure you just want the usual?
That's why it's called "the usual."
I mean, you're running the kitchen now. You got room for a statement.
What, should I dye my hair fuchsia?
It's auburn. But not for you.
I think a nice faux-hawk will give that "Don't fuck with me" vibe, you know?
I mostly use my face for that.
Hey, Aqua Net,
Red said to tell you she's got violets growing.
And I should give a shit about this why?
She said you'd wanna know.
She can grow whatever she wants. I don't give a...
Violets.
Oh. You're right. I'll come check that out.
Every day in this place, I get more confused.
Did you bring the stamps?
Why don't you first tell me
what I'm supposed to be so hair-on-fire excited about?
Man, look, I appreciate your concern,
but I'm actually well covered on the menstruation front.
Just take one.
Hail Mary, full of grace.
Yeah, how the hell am I supposed to light this?
What, I gotta rub two sticks together or something?
Behold the Litchfield lighter.
Get the fuck out.
Man, it's like the third-best day of my entire life.
Man, blow into the drain!
What happened was the critic changed his mind
because the rat made stew, and it was delicious.
I understand that,
but that doesn't mean the rat can open a restaurant.
The health code is still the health code.
It's like you're dead inside.
Um, I heard something about violets?
Close the door.
It is a mystery to me how you people ever lost the Cold War.
But wait.
This covers this.
You ever been kissed by a 6-foot, black, transgender woman?
I'm good, thanks. But my commissary could use some love.
Whatever happened to goods for services?
I'm running a little dry in the cash department.
You got a steady channel, I assume?
Whatever you want.
Within reason.
I'll be back.
You cannot be serious.
Flores!
Bunch of Latinas can't make decent rice and beans.
What's wrong with this picture?
I grew up eating Chinese.
My stepdad from then was named Chen Dong. He had so much dandruff.
It's that black pepper.
The shit that comes in boxes, it tastes like my abuela's ashes.
_
but you gotta put Cholula on it.
- Kind of busy right now. - Sorry. Should I...
Santa?
Fuck Santa.
Bennett's better looking
and he shows up even if you've been naughty.
What'd you get?
Oh, these things just keep getting smaller.
That's actually mine.
You can borrow it for a few days, but I'm gonna need it back.
Ugh. It's full of Fleet Foxes and shit.
- What about my phone? - Blanca, be real.
Look, this is the last time that I can do this.
_
but I want porn.
Oh, man. Flores is a fucking genius!
Okay, but good porn. None of that weird Japanese bullshit.
And I want a magazine with just guys in it.
What? It's hot.
And plus, I don't wanna be exploiting women and shit.
It sucks out all the sexy.
I'm not buying gay porn.
Are you homophobic or something?
Suficiente, everyone! We got hungry people out there. ÃÂ¡Vamos!
I may starve to death.
I'm a vegetarian, obviously.
You know, and I respect that, but under the present circumstances,
I'm pretty sure that even...
even Paul McCartney would be all up in a tuna casserole.
Look. That salad bar, it's just frozen peas and iceberg lettuce.
I need nuts. I need legumes.
- Hey, Chapman? - Mmm-hmm?
You think that me and Gonzales could help you out with that newsletter thing?
- Yeah, sure. That would be great. - Okay.
This might be weird,
but do you know anything about the kitchen vendors?
Like which company delivers the groceries?
Some guys in a truck.
- Soso? - No.
Pigs are smarter than dogs.
Do you eat eggs?
Depends on how they were raised.
So, no.
Okay, make fun of me if you want,
but the agro-business complex in this country is completely insane.
Bitch, look around you.
We in the prison-business complex.
A cow breaks me out of here, I'll stop eating meat that day.
Is it true?
That the Catholic priests in Africa are allowed to get married
because chastity's just too hard for them?
I think it's hard for anyone.
Yeah, but African men?
That's a whole other story.
I'll take your word for it. Excuse me.
- Sister, the cornbread. - Oh.
It's that darn blood-sugar thing. You remember.
I'm gonna have to write you a shot.
You'd give a shot to a nun?
Don't hate me.
I've never gotten a shot before.
It's the end of days. I'm telling you.
Okay.
- Can I help with this? - Oh.
Thank you, Roberta.
You're welcome.
I saw my husband last night.
Well, that sounds lovely.
He plays the bass now.
Don't forget to shine those shoes.
Now, I said I'd clean your bunk. The shoes are not included.
I ain't saying I'm no scientist or nothing,
but the shoes in the bunk, correct?
Look, I'm gonna get a shot for even being in here.
If I have to go in front of the disciplinary board one more time...
You know, karma-wise, your people had this coming.
Okay, yo. Here's what I got.
Oh, hold up. I specifically said strawberry.
Well, we're out of strawberry right now. That's the best I could do, all right?
All I know is...
I'm holding some premium shit here.
Bitch, I don't even smoke, okay?
I need it to bribe Aleida to let me borrow her stinger
so I can wax my mustache.
Guess you caught me in a soft mood.
Happy birthday, baby.
- Say "thank you" to your sister. - Thank you!
It's been a while since we saw you.
You know, things been real busy at work,
but I wouldn't go missing Shorty's birthday, no way!
Oh, shit!
- Monica! - Sorry.
- Bring it here. Unh. Unh. Mmm. - Unh. Mmm.
Then... Unh.
- What? - What?
A little much for a 9-year-old.
Yeah, if you mean a little much swagger, you got that right!
I wish you were here for all my birthdays. Last year, Mom got me clothes.
It's what you needed, baby.
Hey, how about we go for some ice cream, you and me?
- Yes! - Dinner is in a few hours.
It's a special occasion.
- What flavor you want? - Bubble gum!
How 'bout we all go together?
What you so nervous about?
What you think, I met you yesterday?
Look, I'm gonna look out for her. I promise.
She promised, Mom.
Go ahead. But leave that iPad here.
I don't want you losin' it or gettin' it stolen.
Let's blow this joint!
- Cindy. - I know.
Hey, Chapman, I was just wondering
if maybe you got any room on your newsletter committee,
that maybe I could join up?
Let me see. So far, it's me and two Spanish girls,
one of whom scares me a little bit, so, yeah.
Yeah, I think I can squeeze you in.
Oh, that's really good.
Is there anything in particular that you wanna write about?
Uh, I didn't really get that far.
I just thought it'd be good to keep busy, you know?
Well, what about romance?
Like a serial type of thing? Dickens meets Danielle Steel.
I'm trying to stay away from the romance-type stuff,
- just for a little while. - Oh.
Oh, yeah. No, it's fine. It's just, maybe something else.
It's fucked up, isn't it?
How we're stuck in here and the world outside just keeps turning?
Yeah.
What about a beauty column?
You always look so nice.
Well, you know, just 'cause you're in prison
don't mean you got to let it go.
I bet that you have some great tips.
Okay. Okay. I can do it. I can do that.
Thank you, Chapman.
- Hey, you got a fag? - A what?
A fag. You know, a drag. A butt. A burn.
Look, you talking about cigarettes, you're at the wrong house.
Come on, I'm not the one who started a Negro-League Tobacco Shack, all right?
That would be your pal Vee.
I merely seek to avail myself of a fine product.
She ain't my pal.
She's pals with your pals.
Right, or she's using them to do her dirt while she counts the cash.
You ain't gonna find her hands on no contraband.
You watch, somebody goes down for carrying,
she'll be shuffling and smiling in front of the COs like,
"Oh, Lord, what have these girls got up to?"
Fuck.
Hey, you know that thing that happens to lesbians in high school?
How we strike up a really intense best-friendship
with a straight girl who's really into it.
And we convince ourselves that friends is good, right?
Until she gets a boyfriend.
We hate that poor asshole with the white-hot heat of a thousand suns,
a "He's not worthy of you," or whatever,
when he's probably a decent-enough person, I mean, as guys go.
Because what's really happening is that we're in love with our friend.
Yo, why does everybody think I'm in love with her? 'Cause I'm not.
Sure. Sure. Let's go with that.
But in the event that you were having the feels for her?
Yeah, it turns out that by hating her boyfriend,
you're just gonna drive her away.
I mean, you gotta suck it up and make him like you.
Take up poker. Watch The Godfather 10 times or whatever.
All clear, everybody. We found it.
Anyway, it's your life. I mean, spend it how you want, all right?
Ay, where's your sack, Santa?
Couldn't do it.
Okay, I'm not doing this anymore.
I think you forgot how blackmail works, papi.
I think you forgot how prison works.
This shit has gone too far, okay?
You know who else went too far? You with Dayanara.
Fine. How about this?
You're all getting shots.
Yo, I didn't do nothing, asshole.
Well, that sucks for you.
- You gotta be fucking kidding me, right? - I promise you I'm not kidding.
Hey, Bennett,
what's gonna happen when Caputo finds out you raped an inmate?
- He's not gonna find out. - You sure about that?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure. 'Cause you're going to the SHU, Ramos.
- For what? - I'll figure it out later.
- You ain't gonna do that to me. - You think I'm not?
Let's go. Move it!
Shit!
You wanna join her?
Bye.
_
I heard you wanted to see me?
Uh, Chapman. Right. Come in.
Mr. Caputo, have you, um, heard anything about my furlough request?
It's not my department. Sorry.
But I've been thinking about this newsletter.
Awesome.
I've been thinking it could be a good way for us, the administration,
to communicate with the inmates. Explain our side of things.
Your side of what?
For instance, this shot-quota thing we got going.
You ladies think we're being mean. But we're just doing our job, you know?
Things get out of hand, it's bad for everybody.
That's kind of what fascists say.
I may be related to Mussolini on my mother's side.
It's a joke.
Maybe you could put something in the newsletter about the guards.
Show everybody we're human.
"Guards, they're just like us."
I wouldn't go that far.
How about, "Guards...
"they're people, too"?
So, uh...
tell me...
what do you like to do in your spare time?
Hi. Ow!
- What is the matter with you? - So much.
You show up at my house like fucking Squiggy with a hard-on.
Maybe next time you decide to make some deranged declaration of love
to an emotional zombie with a blocked milk duct
and a husband who recently purchased an Aleutian hunting spear,
you could consider calling first?
Okay, look, Polly, I'm spiraling out, okay? I am.
You know, you have this idea of what your life is supposed to...
No, I can't do this, Larry!
Okay.
I'm serious. It's just stupid.
I know.
I mean, yes, we were friends before we even started dating Pete and Piper.
And yes, you drove me to the hospital when I was in labor
and handled all the paperwork and the nurses.
And yes, you were the only one there for me
when my husband checked out of fatherhood
so he could go on a month-long mission of self-exploration,
and you're funny, but also boring in all the right ways, and...
What the hell am I saying? Just fuck me.
- I don't know what this means. - Shut up.
Okay, listen, listen.
I haven't had sex in months,
so there's a better-than-average chance that I could...
Just shut the fuck up, Larry.
Did you say something about a blocked milk duct?
Just stay to the right.
It's like sending a letter.
There's a box, you type in a question, and the answer comes up.
Who's on the other end looking it up?
Nobody. It's in the wires.
It's all the information in the world.
You're telling me all the information in the world is in wires?
But people are still stupid, right?
Hey, Red. I could really use some matches.
Matches.
- Yeah. - Good.
I was just thinking our chances of dying in some nut-job arsonist's fire bomb
weren't high enough already.
I wouldn't let anyone else touch 'em.
Come on. I'm just trying to get my smoke on.
And what exactly are you smoking?
The black girls got cigs.
You need muscle, Taslitz killed a guy with an ax.
That was before the arthritis.
Boo, much as I'd like to help you
spend the rest of your life in solitary, I'm busy.
Come back later and I'll see about getting you some cookies or something.
Oh, man.
That's a shot, inmate.
For what?
Damaging government property.
That is horse shit, and you know it.
You want one for obscenity, too?
So, I'm thinking that Lorna can be assistant editor,
help us come up with ideas of things to write about
and people to write them.
So you got two white girls in charge?
Ah, shit.
I just think it should be based on who earned it, is all.
I did yearbook in high school, so...
Yearbook isn't even a real class.
You just take photographs and smoke weed. Everybody knows that.
Anyway, I already wrote a column.
- Let me see. - Hey.
Look, I drew this.
It's about being in jail with, like, animals at the zoo.
Why is the walrus in such a bad mood?
Oh. That's, um, Mr. Healy.
This is fantastic.
- You already made your first mistake. - Says who?
If you "could care less," that means you still care.
You know what I'm saying? 'Cause, like, it is possible for you to care less.
No. No. I'm saying is however much you care, I could care less than you.
That's not what it means.
It should be, "I couldn't care less." See?
Because you hit bottom with caring.
Yo, Chapman, tell her.
I mean, technically, yes.
But I think this is one of those things like "literally,"
where the colloquial usage of the word eventually wins out.
Languages evolve.
Why you gotta be like that?
Look, the point is everybody knows what I'm trying to say.
Why you gotta be a dick about it?
It's called grammar, tonta.
I'm so glad I found you, Roberta.
- Are you okay? - No. I'm being followed.
It's the damn Irish. I can't go back to the pen.
No touching, Cavanaugh.
Oh, that is so sad.
What are you gonna write about?
I was thinking, like, an advice column.
People write about their problems,
and then I tell them to get their shit together.
Mmm. Got a bunch of the baseball ones. My favorite.
You know I got you covered.
- Cindy. - Yo.
Got something for me?
Oh. So, here's the thing. No.
Maybe you'd care to explain.
Not everyone had stamps.
They didn't know you was gonna be looking for 'em.
Doesn't mean they shouldn't get a smoke.
Well, actually, that's exactly what it means.
- It's called commerce. - Oh.
I let 'em trade for it old school, like the red man.
Bitch, trust me, you do not wanna short Vee.
She will go Wolverine on your ass.
All right, listen.
I'll sell the next ones for a couple bucks extra,
make up the difference.
If you can't be trusted with the package, you can't be selling.
From now on, you're on maintenance.
What that supposed to mean?
You do what Suzanne's been doing.
تو برای همه سیگار لول می کنی...می فروشی...بسته بندی می کنی...تمیز می کنی
من کار مجانی انجام نمیدم
وقتی بدهی هات رو بدی شانس دوباره ای برای فروش پیدا می کنی
ریدم بهش
جای اونو بگیر
اگه میخای
...اِ
آره درباره اش فکر می کنم
ازت نمی ترسم
....بگو مونی....بگو مو
!هی..! هی
هی...مدرسه ات چطوره؟- خوبه-
بقیه بچه ها رو دوست داری؟- مشکلی نیست-
بعضیاشون مسخره ام می کنن. میگن من احمقم
و موبایل هم ندارم
میگن باید اسمم رو از شخصیت " دختر زمان " سریال دوستان الهام می گرفتن
اینا کسشعرن بابا
اسم تو از مونیکای توی "عشق و بسکتبال" گرفته شده
با بازی دوشیزه سانا لَثِن
کی؟ خب به هرحال...خیلی عصبانیه و با دنزل رو هم ریخته
و اون ازدواج کرده
ما میگه این شایعه اس
شایعه نیست. و ما هم به هر حال خیلی کسل کننده اش
کصافط هی...این پسر من مارتینه؟ فکر کردم تن لشش تو زندانه؟
ماه گذشته بیرون اومد
اینو ببین
عمرا...باهات تماس می گیرم
چه خبرا داوگ؟ شنیدم تن لشت تو زندونه
من واسه اون آشغال زیاد صاف و صوفم
سلام
من یه کار دولتی تو پیتسبورگ گرفتم
دیوونه کننده اس
هی...میخای بیای بالا یه سلامی به فوزی بکنی؟
لعنتی...فوزی هم اینجاست؟
تورو ببینه خودشو خیس می کنه
ببین...میخام واسه ده دقیقه برم بالا
همینجا میمونی خیلی خب؟
هی هی.. تکون نمی خوری
نهایتش 20 دقیقه... قول میدم
عشقمی
هی..پسر..کمی بهم بده نه اون کصافطو بیار تو
زودباش مرد
هی کارت با اون همه لامپ روشن به کجا رسید؟
منو قربانی می کنی....دی دی دی
هی وندا
...من ...اِم
میخاستم بگم که متاسفم
کمی برای این حرف دیر شده
من ریدم...همچی خیلی سریع اتفاق افتاد ولی
من دیگه بالغ شدم اسکات. هرچه زودتر تصمیمت رو بگیر
یه فرصت دیگه بهم بده
دارم می رم
من ویتامیکس و هرچیزی میارم
دلم برات تنگ شده
بیا اینجا پاندا
منم دلم برات تنگ شده
یه چیزایی درباره آناتومی خانم ها یاد گرفتم
فکر کردم شاید لذت ببری ازشون
با دخترم ماریتزا چه گوهی خوردی؟
اونا ازم باج می گرفتن
نمیخاد هیچی نگه
تو فکر می کنی میخاد بابا بچه مو زندانی کنه؟ (بابا بچه در اینجا یعنی مردی که با زن رابطه داره و پدر بچه نیست)
پس نمی تونه جورش کنه؟
این ریسکی نیست که من بتونم قبول کنم
این خواهره منه اینجا
حتی اون جنده رو دوست ندارم ولی بحث خانوادگیه
من الان چکار باید بکنم؟ بگو بهم؟
یعنی من باید بزارم هر دختر اسپانیایی این اطراف هست حال منو بگیره؟
اوه خدای بزرگ- من یه کو هستم-
فکر کردی چی شده؟
فکر کردی منو میزارن رو سرشون حلوا حلوا می کنن؟
شاید وقتی نمیخای کاندوم بزاری نباید بهش فکر می کردی. ها؟
میخام بکشم بیرون عزیزم...با لاستیک اومدنش طول می کشه
منصفانه نیست و تو هم میدونی
نمووودمت !! من فقط فحش دادم تو میخای برام یه شات بنویسی؟
دایا من- توهین به یا مامور....برام یه شات بنویس
چیه گربه؟ زودباش؟ چیه؟
من برات یه شات نمی نویسم
ولی تو اگه میخای میتونی اینکارو بکنی...خب؟
چون انتخاب می تونی بکنی چون قدرت دست توئه
من یه زندانی ام
هیچی ندارم
یا مسیح از پیری بیزارم
خانم ها و آقایان سناتور جدید ایالت شما
میخای راجعب زیرساخت ها
یا سطح سیلاب یا هر چیز بد دیگه حرف بزنی
هردفعه چند سوال لعنتی هست
نه اندی رونی من به سرویس های تُخمی مراقبت پزشکی شما کاری ندارم
پس چی میخوای بگی؟ رای سالمندان
اوه
به نظرت موهام زیادی درخشان نیست؟
سلام. سیتی پست گزارش میده
کنگره پان آفریقا کمک مالی بزرگی دریافت کرد
what's-his-face, the golf-course guy.
اونا این کمک رو یک و نیم میلیون برآورد کردن
اوه...لعنتی
شرط می بندم راولی هم مثل یه جنده-میمون اون وسط قِر می داد. مرتیکه ی چوندِه
همینه دقیقا...ما گاییده شدیم
میتونی بری گوین
عالیه
امروز سخنرانی تون خوب بود قربان
از موضع قدرت بود
گوش کن...ما تسلیم نمی شیم
ما راهش رو پیدا می کنیم. گزینه هایی داریم
تاکید می کنم عزیزم
من مشکلم این گزارشگره اس که داره اطراف لیچفیلد شایعه سازی می کنه مثل آونگی که وودوارد رو می کنه
چیزی دستگیرش نمیشه. قول میدم
شبیه "حتما رفیق
بیایین فکر بودجه برای حموم این خانمای خوشگل باشیم
سر دوشی دوکاره....کار می کنه
خودتو زحمت نده که قوانین صدور حکم رو عوض کنی
تضمین محاکمه عادلانه برای همه و داشتن یک وکیل عادل
نه...نه...بزار لیف ها رو بهشون بدم
آره...میدونم...میدونم
آدما میتونن خیلی کوچک باشن
برنده می شیم ..قول میدم
بعد میتونیم برگردیم سرکار و چیزی رو که واقعا مهمه درست کنیم
ما آدمای خوبی هستیم. پول رو پیدا می کنیم (نظر مترجم: ما آدمای بهتری بودیم ولی پیدا نکردیم)
یه خونه تو آلبانی می خریم شاید بچه دار هم بشیم بالاخره
اگه بچه می خوای
شاید واقعا مجبور باشی با من سکس داشته باشی
...میدونی...من
من همه مدت خسته بودم وقت آب کشیه
....میدونم...متاسفم...فقط
فقط میخام حس کنم که منو میخای
من بیشتر از خواستنه ــه بحثم
بهت نیاز دارم
روز خوبیه مت
فقط شوخی کردم. اصلا کی گفت؟
برای چند لحظه مجبورم از خونه برم بیرون
پالی امروز یه قرص داره
کل بعدظهر چشمم رو بچه ها بود
گفتمش بچرخه یا هرکاری دیگه که انجام میده
و وقتی برگرده از قبلش هم عجیب تر میشه
جنده ها ..من خوبم؟
خب...چت شده مت
می ترسم برم داخل
آب خیلی سرده
تو همیشه مجبورم می کنی
خیلی خب
جهنم
آمدم
از درخت دور شو
من در کل درختو کثیف نمی کنم
چرا این دور ور دزدکی می گردی؟
تو مثل پلنگ صورتی لعنتی نیستی
تو خنده داری.... نیستی؟ همش شوخی می کنی....دلقک بازی در میاری
ما نمی تونیم اینجا بخندیم. دیگه چی داریم؟
اینم هست
مشکل اینه که وقتی مزه می پرونی
میشی یه ملخ توی داستان امروز رو خوش بگذرون
بی مسئولیت...بی برنامه...بی جاه طلبی
فردایی در کار نیست...درسته؟
یه نفر باهوشتر از تو هم اینو گفته
بله...خب یحتمل خوب هم گفته
وقتی مردم قبل از سن 40 انتظار میره بررسی بشن
مسئله اینه که اگه آینده رو نسازی
دلیلش اینه که به آینده باور نداری
یعنی خودتو باختی
تو بازنده ای
هممم
عقلت پاره سنگ برداشته؟
من تا نیمه شب منتظرت بودم. حتی نمی دونستم کجا بودی
همچی عالیه...کمی تاخیر بود...همین
دختره نه سالشه لباساس بوی گند ماریجوانا میده
اوه
اون چیزی نمی کشه. من روانی نیستم
تقصیر منه که اجازه دادم ببریش
قبول کن حسودی می کنی که اون منو بیشتر از تو دوست داره
اینقدرم برای خودت چاپلوسی نکن
ممکنه کسی رو دوست داشته باشه که به ندرت براش حاضر بوده
and gave her presents they didn't even come by honest. (?)
من هرکاری بخوام میتونم با دختر لعنتیم بکنم
تو حق اینکه بهش بگی دختر رو از دست دادی
وقتی که اونو اینجا با من ول کردی
فکر کردی حقم رو از دست دادم؟ این چطوره؟
چرا راستش رو بهش نمی گیم ببینم اون چی انتخاب می کنه؟
جراتش رو نداری اینکارو بکنی
اون به قدر کافی بزرگ شده
چیزی بهش نمیگی و می ری و ترکش می کنی
بهش میگی؟ خیلی خب برو بهش بگو
ولی بعدش باید ببریش
خب..شاید ببرم
و چه چیزایی برای اون بچه میتونی فراهم کنی؟
هر روز از مدرسه برش میداری؟
می بریش کلاس پیانو؟
موهاش رو می بافی
شبا که مریضه بیدار می مونی
روی زانو میشنی و استفراغاشو تمیز می کنی؟
چی؟ فکر کنی من بتونم این کارای کثیف رو انجام بدم؟
اگه اینطوره. ببرش
اگه فکر می کنی بهتر از من میتونی بزرگش کنی...مهمون من باش
ببرش ...برو
چطور باید بفهمم؟
اون هیچی بهم نمیگه
تمام وقت داره از اون تصویرای عجیب غریبش می کشه
تو یه گیاه داری
آره مال گلخونه اس
روزماری ـه از بوته ی من تو خونه
تو یه گیاه کاملا جدید رشد کرده
حالا هرچی
ببخشید دیروز مجبور شدم سخت گیری کنم
نه اون...اون
اینکار شاید به نظرت ساده برسه ولی اینطور نیست
من زیاد جاه طلبی کردم میدونی؟ شاید یه روزی یه سرپرست بشم
همه این چیزای مربوط به سهمیه شات به نظرت کار می کنه؟
این آدما که بالان...برنامه رو دوست دارن ابتکار عمل رو دوست دارن
باید به همه نشون بدی داری فعالیت می کنی
می فهمم
بعضی مردم ...کلا زیاده خواه نیستن
فقط دوست دارن اسکیت بازی کنن...آبجو بخورن... فقط در حد لازم کاری انجام بدن
مثلا لوسچک
لوسچک خوبه
البته...اگه از اینجور چیزا خوشت میاد
دوست دارم باهاش حرف بزنم
خیلی خوبه با کسی که تورو کامل درک می کنه حرف بزنی
باشه
من میارمش بیرون
فردا می بینمت
اون هنوز دخترته آلیدا
یادته وقتی حامله بودی چه حسی داشتی؟
وقتی من حامله بودم با مادرم صحبت کردم
درباره این دستخط مطمئنی؟
هی هی واقعا؟
نگاه کن...بنت نمیخاد کاغذبازیا رو برای ماریتزا انجام بده
فقط میخواست یه درسی بهش بده.اون فردا تلاشش رو می کنه
من چیزی درباره ماریزا نگفتم
ولی داری مثل یک جنده ی عصبانی رفتار می کنی
صرف این که کمیک درست می کنی به معنی این نیست که مزه بریزی
چی...شدیدا مخالفم
من اصلا به عقلمم نمی رسید که ممکنه قهوه برای ساختن سایه ی چشم استفاده بشه
اوه آره هان. منظورم اینه که مزه تُخمی داره .. پس از لوازم بهداشتی بهتره
تا حالا هیچکدومتون فکرده که کاپوتو یه لاک پشت داشته؟
منظورم اینه که من مثل یه مرد پرنده میخکوبش کردم
خانم ویراستار چکار می کنید؟
راستش همه ما اینجا دستیار ویراستاریم
منظورت مثل سریال تلویزیونیه که همه اسم ها جلوت جمع میشن؟
همشون نمیتونن اینقدر مهم باشن
بهتون اطمینان میدم همه کسایی که اینجان برای عملکرد اینجا مفیدن
اوه...باشه
اینو ببینین آقای هیلی
این چیه؟
کمیک
هی عجب هنردستی خوبی
هی آقای هیلی
داشتم فکر می کردم ببینم در مورد مرخصی من چیزی شنیدی یا نه؟
کاغذ بازی داره. میدونی؟ یه زنگ می زنم و بررسی می کنم
هی ... کی اینجوری شد؟
فقط خواستیم از خودمون دورش کنیم....میدونی
خودم
فکر خوبی بود چاپمن
خیلی خب ادامه بده
اون شیرماهی خنده داره
آشغالمو بده به من
اونجا که ازش اومده بیشتر هم ازش هست
میدونم
چون من این چیزای ماستی رو خواستم
کمی اصالت داشته باش...مندوزا..نه؟
باشه. من هیچکدوم از اینا رو نمیخام
یه لیست انتظار هست ولی خب ببینم چه میتونم بکنم
چی میخای؟ یه ماست گل زیبا؟
یا سمغ؟
هرکسی به نظر می رسه برای یه منظوری صمغ می خواد
They're making lighters with the wrappers.
از این یکی خوشم نمیاد
خواهش می کنم...اون چیزاشو فروخت...تو هم چیزای خودتو بفروش
مسابقه که نیست
اه
پس تو طرف اونی؟
نه من آشغالای بازار سیاه رو نمی خوام
من گشنیز میخام. که تو باغ هم میتونی کشتش کنی
قبوله
کمی فلفل؟- پررو نشو دیگه-
ولی خب
خیلی خب
برای چیزی دیر رسیدم؟
بوم
!بوم ! بوم !بوم
داری همه راه های پیش روت رو بررسی می کنی
ولی سوزان اگه میخای بری اونجا
باید درباره اش فکر کنی
چکار باید بکنم؟
"بهش میگن "بازی طولانی
باشه
یعنی چی باشه؟
درمانم رو قبول می کنم
کیسه رو بده بهش
این چیه؟
پنبه ی قاعدگی استفاده شده
عوق
پنبه ها نه. فقط چیزای لوله ای از سطل زباله
شما دارین می رینین تو اعصابم
پنبه قاعدگی تو تعاونی پنج دلار قیمتشه
اون چیزای دسته دوم تو زباله دونی رو بیرون بیار مجانی اند
به نظرت اولین گروه از کجا اومد؟
به هرحال یکی باید اینکارو بکنه
حال به هم زنه
آره حال بهم زنه
عالیه
تشنه مه
آبی که من بهت میدم رو بخور- آب نمیخام. من آبمیوه میخام-
خب پس تا موقعی که از نگهبانی بگذریم باید صبر کنی
ولی من الان تشنه مه
بچه داری؟
نه
مچکرم...بریم عزیزم
نمیام...نمیام...نمیام
رابرتا ! نزار منو ببرن...رابرتا
رابرتا...نمیام...نمیام
لطفا بهم بگین دارن میبرنش برای کمک
دارن میبرنش به ایستگاه اتوبوس
اون فکر می کنه لیندن جانسون رییس جمهوره
اون مراقبت تمام وقت و تسهیلات خاصی میخاد
! ولم کن برم
اونا پولی بابش نمی دن
خانواده اش چی؟
اون یه دختر تو استکلهم داره با هم حرف نمی زنن اصلا
پس از خارج از خیابون هاست؟
"بهش میگن "عفو مشروط
رابرتا
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